Shhh! Secret Life of a Princess

Random, provoking thoughts from a self-confessed princess :: with focus on motivational learnings from the media. I hope to inspire everyone to be the best they can be

Thursday, July 03, 2008

7 Secrets to Happiness - the Female Version

1. Have a group of friends you can bond with
Think Sex and the City and Cashmere Mafia. When you are down, you can't entirely depend on your boyfriend or husband to say things that will make you feel better (they rarely do) and eating tubs of ice-cream or chocolate is far too fattening, thus we usually turn to our gal pals who have grown up with us, people who knows us deep down inside and will comfort us with the best and most comforting words since they will know how you feel. I liked it when in one episode of Cashmere Mafia, Lucy Liu got dumped by her fiance who was aboout to marry her as she beat him to a company promotion and when her gal friends were there to comfort her and screw the hell out of the ex-fiance, she mentions 'I dont know what I will do without you girls'....Awww... don't we love moments like these.

2. Live simply
When there are too many choices and options, things gets tough. I have been in Malaysia for so long and I rarely hear about divorce cases but stepping into Singapore with a myraid of opportunities and people congregating from all over the world, cases of affairs and infidelity becomes more rampant. I am surrounded with people who are divorced with kids at work and among my friends and they easily admit to getting divorce as it is so easy to meet other more suitable people, or so they thought. In countries where you are trapped to live with person you marry, these options are not so available and thus, they make things work among themselves which again leads to less trauma and unhappiness.

3. You only live once
Yes, you gotta have adventures! It is those exhilirating moments in life that you will find makes life much more worth living. It is those moments that will remain cherished memories for the rest of your life. You will not remember work and how much tasks you have completed or accomplished. What you will remember is the exhilaration you feel when you speed down a roller coaster, the beautiful sights when you scuba dive, the glorious stars when you stare into the skies from the highlands and the adorabe smile on your first born baby's face. In one episode of Grey's Anatomy, before one of the patient dies, he quoted 'Isn't life's most memorable and precious moments those that were made without following the rules?'
If everything you did in life was safe, you’d never have any exhilarating moments or crazy experiences to recall, both of which give you the sense that you’re truly living,” explains Brian Luke Seaward, PhD, author of Quiet Mind, Fearless Heart.

4. Give in to temptations
When your daily life is such a routine and all you do is take orders and execute them, you need to break the monotony to induce that little bit of heightened sense of emotion. Be it eat that high-calories, milky ice-cream, buy that beautiful red car you have always been eyeing on or purchasing a nice yellow dress that will make you feel like a princess, by doing things out of the norm and slef-gratifying to yourself or even people around you, you will feel happier and more contented. Life is not one straight road. Some people's vice is food, while others are travel, shopping, jewellery or tv. No matter what, do something that you will not do daily every once so that you will remain sane in the demanding world.

5. Happiness comes from within
A lot of people think money is the source of happiness. One could not be more wrong. I was trapped in the circle once too where the more I climb the ladder and get higher salary and recognition, the more I will feel happy. No matter how high I climb, it never felt enoough. Every time I get a salary increment which could be higher than average, I still feel like I could have gotten more. It never stopped until one day, I was working happily not thinking about the money I am earning but the company I am working for. I wanted the best for my company and I gained meaning from doing something I love and enjoy and have a team that fully supports me and I can respect. I don't even think about the money anymore and any bonus and increment was a great booster. I also used to think that once I found the right guy, I will be happy. Boy, was I wrong. When I think about how I was angry at my previous relationships as I thought the guy did not make me happy, I found that I was not controlling my own happiness. Now that I have grown, I make my happiness no matter who I am with. Happiness is not about what you have. It is what you make of it.

When you have limitless funds, you tend to be hellbent on accumulating more,” says New York clinical psychiatrist Janet Taylor. “In the process, you lose the ability to appreciate what you do own and have difficulty feeling fulfilled.

6. Balance of Busy and Dead time is good
I used to think how great life will be if noone needs to work and everyone can sit and drink wine, watch tv, listen to music and chat with friends all the time? However, after spending too many days doing non-work items, I found myself feeling useless about myself as I have not contributed to the community in a productive way. When you put in your all to ensure a good job done, you will find the resting period is much more appreciated and worth it. It is with bitterness comes sweetness. Just like desserts, a lot of people like it but an overdose of sweet food will create an adverse effect to the tastebuds and body well-being. Thus, everything should be taken in moderation and while you can enjoy the good times, remember that human are created with an aim to create a better world.

7. You Must Love Yourself
Someone who loves themselves radiates with confidence and genuine smile. As long as you accept yourself the way you are, you will not have problems with self-esteem and can make your life happy. I remember one day when I was with a friend who has just gotten out of debts, got cheated by his business partber and he is not even accepted by his family and yet when I speak to him I did not sense any agony. He was so bright and positive about life and could even joke about my words. That impressed me as I would have mourned and screamed "Why the world is unfair to me?" had I been in the same situations. Says he "No matter happy or sad, I still have to live my life, so why live sadly?" Yet, again, it is a choice.

So what are the benefits of being happy?

Happy people are more likely (than unhappy people) to get married, are more likely to stay married, are more likely to think their marriage is good,” Diener said. “They’re more likely to volunteer. They’re more likely to be rated highly by their supervisor and they’re more likely to make more money.”

"Happy people are also, on average, healthier than unhappy people and they live longer", Diener said.

So, what are you waiting for?

Mostly taken from this article.


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