R.I.P.

My grandma passed away today. In the flurry of completing my daily tasks and incredibly harried lifestyle in SG, I was so hardened tat I almost decide not to see my grandmother before she leaves the world. I almost lost my sense of compassion! But I’m glad I decide to come back to KL after all to get the last few glimpses of my grandmother. The grandma that I love so dearly for her pure, genuine and sincere heart, for her generosity of always feeding me with snacks whenever I visit her and for her undying of joy radiating from her face no matter how much pain she goes through.

As she laid on the hospital gasping hard for oxygen, her chest bobbing up n down like a waterbed being jumped on, she was trying hard to open her eyelids absorbing the environment and people ard her. I could almost feel how she felt, tat she wanted to see eeryone dear to her one last time before she leaves. The sight of those happy faces tat she had grown accustomed to was something she wanted to hang on to for the rest of her life. Not eeryone was there as some of her kids and relatives were outstations making them arriving in Kajang only a few days later. Thus she kept her eyes open making sure she could still breathe and live until they arrive.

Maybe before you die, you will want to be around something familiar and comfortable. She kept asking (we guessed it as her words were indelible whispers) to go home even though she was in such critical condition and require medical attention. When we finally sent her home, she asked for her clothes and purse indicating the sense of familiarity she needed. Guess once you are insecure about your life, all you need is as much security as you can.

She could only drink when she was dry from breathing through her mouth and shit only after so many days. She ate only snippets of food as her stomach was bloated beyond cure. Her whole body was deteriorating as she fight to still be alive while her family members flow in one by one.

Even though she did not have the chance to see her 2 sons and some brothers before she shut her eyes, at least she saw most of us who were there watching over her throughout the days until she breathed her last breathe. And I’m really glad Chee Chiew was there with me throughout the whole ordeal. She passed away peacefully, wearing only the ring I bought for her. Well, at least I know a part of me will always be with her. May she rest in peace. She will always be remembered.