Shhh! Secret Life of a Princess

Random, provoking thoughts from a self-confessed princess :: with focus on motivational learnings from the media. I hope to inspire everyone to be the best they can be

Sunday, October 04, 2009

The Meaning of a Wedding

Days after the event is over, my mind is still reeling with every little details of my wedding like a broken recorder. Anyone who tells you that one should not waste an exorbitant amount of money on an event that last only for one day should be advised to reconsider. It really is the pinnacle of one's life, a ceremony to mark the depth of love you have for one another.

Ever since I was a child, I dreamt of a huge wedding with thousands of guests in the most gorgeous ballroom with elaborate designs accompanied by a shocking entrance. As I grow up, my dream dwindled to a smaller scale wedding with a simple entry as the reality of how much trouble it will be and how much money I would have to spend hit me. Little did I know that my dream as a little child will come true after all. And I got all that and more: a gorgeous ballroom with 48 tables at the towering Hotel Istana, a vintage and romantic theme magnified by the presence of red, white and champagne roses on every pedestals and tables as well as a vintage car as a stage backdrop, a suave groom sweeping me off the stage through an astounding entrance and the presence of my family and friends to make my wedding so much more meaningful and memorable.

After organizing an event as grand as this, I now know the meaning of a wedding in 5 points:
a) Highest level of disappointments: I was disappointed to know that a few of my friends whom I consider as my closest pals in my previous company do not really treasure our friendship as much. A wedding is a once-in-a-lifetime thing and to not have them be there to witness my big day was a sheer disappointment to me. I was saddened by the fact that one was using the fact that her wedding is 2 months down the road and will not be religiously advisable for her to attend when I have thought she could even be my sister and was looking forward to attend HER wedding. Seems not to be now. Another disappointed me by informing me 2 days before my wedding that he could not make it when he flew all the way from Indonesia to attend my hen's night. All this when I flew from Singapore to attend his wedding to witness his happiness and he could not do the same for me. Well, I have to let sleeping dogs lie but I have to admit, the disappointments crushed me so bad that I could not sleep the night before my wedding.

b) You can separate true friends from not so true ones: On the contrary, I am immensely touched by the selfless acts of all my closest galfrens: at least 7 of them who made the effort to help me throughout the process of my wedding. Not only did they help me with selecting my wedding gown but they helped me plan the wedding, reminded me of menial things which I have not taken note of and comforted me when I had my wedding jitters. Had it not been them, I would not have been able to see such comical acts by my husband and his heng dais which all tasks planned to the very details. I also cherish those who took the trouble to drive all the way from Singapore to be there to see me in my glory, esp one who bonded with me weeks before the wedding when I had my jitters. I was truly comforted after confiding my fears to the married man. Lastly my friends who came together to put the wedding in place including his sister, his sister's best friends who contributed to be MC, photographers, technical support and heng dais and even the band performers are all my close friends.

c) Family clashes are inevitable: When you have 2 families planning a wedding with the advise of friends and relatives, disagreements and arguments are bound to happen. From details like the seating position of the relatives to the decoration of the ballrooms to the arduous tasks of determining the invite lists after multiple cancellations and additions, noone can agree on everything. Both my husband and I have to take a backseat by giving way and agreeing to their demands even if it means we have to fork out more cash or displease some of our own friends. After the wedding, we have to divide our time to see all the friends and relatives who flew from other countries to attend our wedding, resulting in packed schedules and speeding car to get from one place to another.

d) You realise how much more your husband loves you: Days before the wedding, I noticed that my hubby did things he rarely do on regular days. He was singing and dancing to weird music ALL the time. Yes, we were stressed but he was happy all the time! The best part is to see him sing at the front door before I let him in to take me as his bride, something he rarely do in public. He did not sleep one night as he had to complete the wedding video, photo montages and table seatings and send the vintage car to be decorated. He was supportive of me when I had to divide my time between work and organizing the wedding while he had a whole week off to organize the wedding. Yes, I now know how deep his love is.

e) You will not know the real meaning of exhaustion until after a wedding: For someone who had to work till the very last day before her wedding and do not have a honeymoon, I was truly exhausted after the wedding. Also, managing the wedding remotely from Singapore was not easy as all the logistics is done in Malaysia and I had to travel back and forth for a few weekends to get things done. I was looking forward to sleeping in but there are 101 things to do after the wedding. But all was all worth it as after the wedding, you will reminisce about every little detail and your life will never be the same again.

Photos courtesy of Kok Pooi Hoe, the backup photographer. Great photos from my friend's blog here.


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