I Gotta Find You

For years I have lived with being content, to use my head to fall in love, telling myself that if someone treats me right and well, he will be the one for me. And I need to be secured and stable in the relationship knowing that the guy I am with is the reliable one. However, I forgot that sometimes it is nice, extremely fantastic if I can just 'FALL'.

To be the one who wants to do things for the other guy, to wonder where he is whenever he is not with me. To miss him the moment he is not around. To have my heart beat harder every moment I see him. To wonder if he will always find me attractive. To do foolish things for him like learning how to cook even though the food gets burnt the moment I start, to make silly love cards for him until the wee hours in the morning. To scribble his name on my book unconsciously when I am daydreaming. To drive far and near to see him even though I have not called and not knowing if he is free. To want to know so much about his past and to purposely tell myself to not let it affect me. To have butterflies in my stomach and to have my heart flutter with any sweet words from him. To sing happy songs unconsciously as I am continuously in a happy mode.

He is the voice inside my head, the reason I am singing. I gotta find him. For once, I want to 'FALL'. And when I do, please be happy that I do.