Eliminated

My current favorite song at the moment as I am going through some very trying times. Sung by Eason Chan but written for him by non other than my favorite: Jay Chou. Thank God for packaging so much talent, emotions and wit into one person who is willing to present it to the world.

Eliminated (Tao Tai) 淘汰 

The meaning of this song is the singer loves a girl who does not reciprocate and chose to eliminate and forget about him. The song depicts how the singer struggles to understand why the girl did that but yet had to accept the brutal truth that he has been eliminated.

And this is how I feel right now:

I am sorry I have to use your pain to cover mine. I really don't know what else to do. I wish I could turn back time. Everytime I am down, I look for you. As I remember how you had comforted me when we were together. But you seem to not exist in this world anymore. Where are you? Sometimes, when I am lucky, you would come into my dreams. The mere presence of you comforts me. Your words meant even more to me than you know. Even though you did not utter those exact words, it feels like you are telling me that everything will be ok. And I would wake up smiling. 

Since we are not connected in this lifetime anymore, perhaps we can be lovers or siblings in our next life? I promise that I will look after you and care for you to make up for my hamartia. I promise that you will have a good and blessed life. I am sorry I left you frozen in the cold, drowned in your own dilemma and enveloped with loneliness. But in our next life, promise me that we will be together. For now, I can only wallow in my dreams hoping for your comforting appearance. 

Celine Dion – 3 Boys and a New Show

“When you are a mom, you never sleep the same” as quoted by Celine Dion. How true! I could only relate after being a mother since Dec 2011. Rather than very little sleep, every mom’s sleep is broken. Feeding every 2 hours and pumping my breasts every 4 hours takes a tool on every mother. You can also see how exhausted I get rocking him to sleep that when he cries for not wanting to sleep on the bed, I had to put him on my arms to sleep every night. That was co-sleeping at its most intense. That was stressful when I needed to drink or pee and especially when I have engorged breasts. 

Watching this documentary of how Celine Dion resolutely tried to have babies albeit multiple IVFs and one miscarriage is inspirational. As she told Oprah, not for a moment she thought of giving up. She finally got pregnant with twins at the 6th IVF attempt. This documentary is not about her attempt to have babies, but her return to show business after delivering twin boys. It is a wonderful documentary not because of her struggles but because it was meticulously choreographed and the timing is perfect. And who can complain when it features all of her music with such strong vocals in the background. 

 I could relate when this intrepid songstress went back to train for her singing after not performing for almost 2 years and had to stop every 4 hours to express her milk and said, “This is not only milk, there’s love in it”. This makes me feel better waking up in the wee hours of the morning to express my milk when the whole word is still sleeping and how I had to endure 30 minutes of squeezing my breasts at every pump just to get enough milk for my baby. I am proud to say I have been breastfeeding exclusively for more than 6 months now. When people say the power of a mother’s love is endless, it is really true. 

After seeing this documentary, I admire and relate to her strength and discipline. She is intense the way I am. She said “It’s tough to live with me. I’m intense with my husband, my children and my work. I don’t know how he lives with me”. Similarly, I will not stop at anything until I get what I want. 

“I can’t believe how a woman that gave birth to twins, that didn’t sleep, can come up and do a performance like she does every night. She’s so discipline, you have to admire a person like that” – nicely quoted by her husband, Rene Angelil after watching her putting up great performances night after night. 

Last but not least, I admire her residence which is amazingly huge and gorgeous and worth USD12.5M. If you don’t watch this documentary, you can see her house in Jupiter Island, Florida here.

Why Wedding Gowns are White

I always thought it was because it is the symbol of purity, thus better suited to be worn in a church. Today, I found out it is used for political and practical reasons:

The marriage of Queen Victoria to her cousin Albert of Saxe- Coburg in 1840 has had more influence on weddings than any other. Queen Victoria put the wheels in motion by marrying in white. Queen Victoria chose white not because it symbolized purity, but because she wanted to show her people that she would run the country in an economical way. White was a much less expensive color to make than the colors typically popular for wedding dresses at the time (red, black, and purple). Plus, it gave her the option of using some lace that she already owned, rather than having something specially made.

So basically, the white dress was originally a political move.

Though brides continued to wed in gowns of different colors, white was now set as the color of choice for weddings and has continued ever since. In Godey’s Lady’s Book, 1849, this statement was printed: “Custom has decided, from the earliest ages, that white is the most fitting hue, whatever may be the material. It is an emblem of the purity and innocence of girlhood, and the unsullied heart she now yields to the chosen one.” There have not been a royal wedding without a white wedding dress since then.

Below are some of my favorite white wedding gowns:

























And gorgeous potraits of white wedding gowns:









































And mine:

Greatest Proposal Ever Made

I could have a tough exterior but inside, I am truly a softie. When I saw one of the greatest proposal ever made, I did not only melt but tears welled in my eyes. The best part is the protagonist used the song that I would use if I am to propose to someone - Marry Me by Train ;) I know I did not have a good proposal at all but my wedding and honeymoon was better than perfect! So here is why I recreated some of the moments when my husband and I are together and why we remain still in love after so many years.

Dedicated to that Extra-ordinary Someone

I'm just an ordinary girl. An ordinary girl who pours her emotion through words. Who probably unrealistically think she can change the world. Who sometimes due to uncontrollable forces of nature finds herself trapped and thus could only express herself through her words. Who could not sleep due to incessant thoughts in her mind and thus tires herself by writing.

It is nice to have someone to come out of nowhere to suddenly appreciate what matters to me. Someone who can tell who I am through my writing. Someone who sees more depth in me than what I potrayed on my blog. Someone who feels me through my unwritten words. Someone who makes me feel special just by reading me. Thanks for being that someone. Someone who is extraordinary to me since you know me despite never meeting before. :)

What Are You Doing to Save the World?

I saw this Korean movie called "A Man Who Was Superman" that talks about a man who thought that he is Superman because he hear things in his mind. As a result, he went around saving the world like he is a superhero, from helping ladies when they are robbed, pushing the world so that it does not get hit by asteroid and pushing wheelchairs of disabled people so that they can move faster. He kept referring to himself as the Korean Superman and said that he has something in his head that can only be destroyed by Kryptonite. One day, he saved a beautiful journalist from a speeding lorry and after finding out what this guy is doing, she wanted to use his story as a piece to go up in her journalism career.

As she went around stalking him and talking to the people around him, she found out the reason why he has a humming sound in his head. He had a growing tumour in his brain. She kept pushing him to do his surgery but he insisted that he has no time and need to do his duties. One day, when a lady was standing on the roof of a burning building screaming for help, without hesitation, he rushed into the burning building to save the lady. When he realised that there is no way out than to jump from the roof, he held on to the lady, telling her that he can fly because he is Superman. I love the ending of the movie that displayed how he actually flew and perfectly landed on the ground to save the lady, but in reality he didn't albeit he managed to save the lady but not himself. The world would remember a man who saved and touched the lives of so many lives despite not being a real Superman.


The past few months, I read news of so many disasters in the world from hurricanes to typhoons to earthquakes to floods to tsunamis and though it is hard, one has to acknowledge the fact that all these disasters might not be that natural anymore. The Earth is gravely ill and people are still doing what they do everyday to destroy the Earth. Call it ignorance but when you are mourning the death of the people in the disaster hit countries like United States, China, Taiwan, Pakistan, Indonesia, Philippines, New Zealand, Australia and most recently Japan, you are still going about doing things which might create the next disaster in other countries! Donating money to those victims are noble but how sure are you that you are not contributing to the disasters which could have been prevented in the first place?

I make it a point to do as much as I can to help reduce or prevent this. And even though I am just one person on the planet Earth, I hope that whatever I do, will contribute a little to save the world. Imagine is a million more people does the same little things, the world might just stay alive a little longer. Just like a sick child, every sickness we hope to cure. If we can prevent it in the first place, all the better.

Below are some things I consciously tell myself to do to be as eco-friendly as possible. Hope you guys can try it out too:
1. Bring a grocery bag on whenever I can when I buy groceries. In Korea, customers are charged $0.50 everytime they use the plastic bags resulting in minimal consumption of plastic.
2. Reject the use of plastic bags when I can insert my purchases into my own handbag. The Body Shop makes it a practice to ask their customers if they need a bag with their purchases so that the purchaser is given a chance to 'think' about putting those items into their own bag.
3. Using as little electricity and Styrofoam as possible. It is not about spending less money on electricity but about reducing the consumption of items that might thin the ozone layer.
4. Do not dispose of boxes, papers, glasses and thin cans as rubbish but put them into recycle bins or better, pass them to old ladies who will collect these items and recycle them to collect some pocket money.
5. I do not consume meat that are about to be extinct on this planet especially shark fin as they are murdered so violently for their fin. Even though I know that the shark has been killed, I seriously think that if I as a person eat one less shark fin, and a million more people do the same, one day, shark fin soup will not need to be a compulsory on every wedding dinner since there will be no demand for it anymore.

I am sure there are lots more we can do to save the Earth. A little contribution goes a long way. Just like the man who calls himself Superman, he does so much even though he was alone, but he became a figure of inspiration.

Happy Valentine's Day 2011

This is a classic love song that will be forever etched in my memory. Sung by a Taiwanese singer, Show Luo. The lyrics translated in English below.


Love You A Little More Each Day
I ain't hoping, i ain't finding,
Breakthrough heaven and earth, til late nights
Journey's end, hoping to see you
Do you ever know?

As ordinary, as simple it can be,
when the sun rises, in the morning hours,
if only i can see you
That's all i ever hope for

Whenever things are getting harsh, it's you that helps me find my answers
I would never leave, would only stay, my love for you will never ever wither

Chorus: Each passing day passes, as devoted i can be,
loving you a little more, a little more, til it spills
Together, as a part of my life,
Fear neither tomorrow, nor storm or steep paths

What is fame, what is wealth?
As long as being alive, it feels good
Nightly and daily, to see you
it's all that i ever wanted

Whenever things are getting harsh, it's you that helps me find my answers
I would never leave, would only stay, my love for you will never ever wither

Chorus: Each passing day passes, as devoted i can be,
loving you a little more, a little more, til it spills
I'd always love to create every tomorrows' deepest nights

Each passing day passes, as devoted i can be,
loving you a little more, a little more, til it spills (give it some even more)
Together, as a part of my life,
Fear neither tomorrow, nor storm or steep paths

And of course the song sung by the original singer, the talented Jacky Cheung.


HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY EVERYONE!

Filial Chinese New Year 2011!

Being away from Malaysia for so long, there are years when I missed watching Malaysia ads and one of those being Petronas Chinese New Year ads. This year's Petronas ad actually brought tears to my eyes, mainly because of what I went through last year. For Malaysians to come up with such ad, I can respectfully claim Malaysians to be a warm and compassionate country. There is no theme more important in a Chinese family than filial piety.

Below are some blurbs on my parents:
A soft-spoken diminutive figure, he speaks little, listens more. When I found out from my cousin that my father ran into a burning building to save my cousins when their house were on fire, I was bowled over. Had it not been for his brave and quick actions, I would not know if I can see my cousins this Chinese New Year. He did not even speak of this until the story was brought up by my cousin.

On my mother's birthday, even after living together for more than 30 years, he would tease my mom of expecting a birthday celebration and silently buys her favorite chocolate to suprise her.

Being the extrovert person in the family, my mother has incredible social skills. She befriends all my friends as well as my siblings' friends and even remembers their birthday. After giving birth to 3 kids, she stayed home to tend to us. I remember one time when my mother was cooking and I was worried about my examinations, I brought my textbook to the kitchen and asked if she could teach me. Without hesitating, she puts down her wok and held on to my book and patiently thought me. Had it not been her, I would not have done so well in school.

Recently, she paid so much attention to me after I went through a misfortune and I have never felt more blessed. Not only did she cooked the most delicious meals for me when I went home but she also bought new recipes to find ways to cure me back to health.

Parents are the easiest to be taken for granted 'cos they are always there and they do everything for us. But they are the ones you must appreciate most as the day will come when you will regret if you did not spend more time with them. This Chinese New Year, give your parents the best gift: your presence.